


Forever

by Commxovere



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Didn't Know They Were Dating, M/M, Remus Lupin Loves Sirius Black, Sirius Black Loves Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:53:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26252959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commxovere/pseuds/Commxovere
Summary: Remus is off fighting a war, Sirius is living in hiding on a beach. Will they meet? Will Sirius get to be with the love of his life? Or will this war always keep them apart?
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 6





	Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first attempt at writing wolfstar, please bear with me. Also, this story is set during the 1980's, and the situation is similar to the Hogwarts war. Enjoy!!!

The war cries were so loud that they would deafen anything that came in their way. Crimson red decorated the streets of Islington and bodies marked their spots on the thick brown roads. Mercy wasn’t seen anywhere nor did any human with a sword think about it. Terror was spread in the air. The sun too disappeared and gave way to the dark, sinister clouds. It seemed like it could rain at any moment, but all that echoed in the sky was lightning – fairly inaudible compared to the screams from below. “How many left?” a deep, hoarse voice asked. “Not many but we still have to kill- ” He was dead before he hit the floor.  
Three hundred miles away, Sirius sat.  
The sun kissed the sea and the serene, impassive waves calmly touched the shore. Long legs in patchy pants made deep holes in the uneven sand. Loose threads found their way out from the edge of his ragged trousers. The shoes needed repair as the brown was being taken over by the dominant grey. His coat drenched, stuck to his muscular chest. He was shaking. He was trembling. He was glaring at the sea and the sea was glaring right back at him. His eyes glistened in the orange sunlight. They couldn’t be called brown anymore. They were deep and mysterious. They danced to their own music. His eyes so deep brown that on a closer look one could see a faint outline of the waves in the almost dwindling sunlight. His eyes held rare tears, but today, once the first tear broke free- the rest followed an unbroken stream. His thick brown eyebrows were buried in deep thought. His lips set in a straight line – devoid of any emotion. The laughing lines on his face reminded one of the times when a smile never left his face. Sarcasm and wit was his aura. But today, there was no smile and no sarcasm. He screamed at the waves, releasing all his agony and chaos, but the waves just washed all his pain back to him. He ran his muscular hands through his brown curls that almost touched his shoulder. The sky was spotless – deprived of stars and clouds. His mind was cluttered – with irrational and random thoughts dominating his mind. How could he have done this? How could he have run away from the war? How could he have left the only person he actually cares about alone and scared? How could he? He should’ve stayed. Even though Remus had told him to leave. He should’ve stayed. The sea was calm but he was chaotic.  
Remus smoothly dragged his sword through thick flesh as he winced loudly. He always wanted to be a soldier and protect his motherland but the liters of bloodshed he had rippled during this war would make him uneasy for the rest of his life. His sword stabbed another human aimlessly as his thoughts went back to the previous night with Sirius.   
Sirius’s eyes sparkled with tears as he stared at Remus’s blank face. Remus was shaking, either because of the spine chilling wind blowing or because of the catastrophe of emotions he was feeling- he would never know. The cave held impenetrable darkness as their shadows mixed with the walls and dissolved. The extinguishing candle provided only enough light for them to see each other. The only sound heard was the ragged, uneven breathing of the two. Remus’s deep, royal voice shattered the silence. “Go away Sirius. Go as far away as you can. Never come back. Never look back. Run. As fast as you can. Be safe.” Sirius shook his head. “What are you saying Rem? I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay right here and I’ll be there tomorrow when you wake up.” Remus held Sirius tightly by the shoulders, pushing him back slightly. “Promise me something, will you?” “Anything,” said Sirius. “Promise me that you will go to the beach far away. Promise me that whatever happens you will never get yourself in trouble. Promise me that you will be safe.” Remus knew that what he was doing won’t please Sirius but he also knew that Sirius would never turn down his promise. Sirius shook his head affirmatively and a lone tear rolled down his cheek. Remus held Sirius’s face softly in his rough hands and lightly caressed his cheek. “You’ll be fine” he whispered as he bent down and their lips touched, slowly causing the world around them to cascade like a waterfall. Remus pushed him away and turned and left, leaving Sirius bewildered and lost. For Sirius, keeping a promise was everything. So he did exactly that.  
In his quarters, Remus lay absolutely still on his rock like bed. He had fifteen minutes before he had to head out again. For the first time, he didn’t want to fight. There was a war going on outside but his mind was as silent as a graveyard. He had achieved his main goal of keeping Sirius away. His face was emotionless. Scars decorated all parts of his beautifully sculpted face. There wasn’t a single line of frown on his calm forehead. He had deep glittering emeralds for where his eyes should’ve been. Looking into his eyes was like drowning into a pool of intelligence and wit. They were tired but had a depth that was filled with knowledge. His golden brown messy hair reached just below his ears. His usual mind clogged with self-doubt and insecurity. Clothed in his smart military uniform he did catch the eye of many onlookers. Remus had his gaze fixed at the ceiling. He had an aura of maturity. He had always been the mature one. Even when his parents threw him out with his brother. He was mature enough to take care of him till his brother passed away in a war similar to this. Remus’s unsteady mind went back to Sirius. It always did. He thought of the last, almost magical touch. A loud siren interrupted his thoughts. With a tired sigh, he headed out unsure of whether he would come back in.  
Far away on the beach at the same time, Sirius lay down taking shelter under a huge gate shaped rock. He had Remus’s bag with him and he started to rummage through the contents of the bag. The first things Sirius could lay his hands on were a diary and two pens. For the first time in the past three days, Sirius smiled. It was so typical of Remus to carry a diary and a pen. Sirius opened the diary, tore out a page and began writing a letter to Remus. He wrote anything and everything that came to his mind. He wrote about the moon, the stars, the beach, the rocks, the birds and all the things he could see. He wrote the longest he ever had. He poured his innermost feelings into the letter and when he was done he wanted Remus to read it. Sirius couldn’t take the risk of posting it. He didn’t want anyone else to read it. He was a man in love with a man, against society, against the rules against everyone and everything. In those days it was a crime worthy of a lifetime of suffering. If this letter reached the men in the military Remus would be killed and that’s the last thing Sirius wanted. He couldn’t risk sending his letter through the military ranks and then wait for it to reach Remus. He just couldn’t. So after contemplating for a long time, Sirius decided to take the risk and go to Remus himself.   
Sitting in the water he saw the shining, almost blinding silver locket hanging from his chest and his mind went back to the time when Sirius and Remus found this locket on the road side. How happy they were back then. He returned to reality and looked at his shoes. They were almost destroyed and the only way he could reach Remus was on foot. The trains or the bus would never be safe in this dreadful time. After walking for a long, long time Sirius finally reached Remus’s quarter. His feet were hurting but at this point he really didn’t care. Being the prankster that he was in school, he didn't face any difficulty getting past the guards. He reached Remus’s cabin and left the letter and the locket on his bed. Sirius was starving so he stole some bread and ran back to the beach. He was drained and exhausted. He fell asleep on the soft sand, under the limited protection he had from the elements.   
Five days had passed and there still wasn’t any reply from Remus. Sirius knew that it may not be possible to send a letter during the war but he was getting impatient. Sirius decided yet again to go and visit Remus. He couldn’t bear staying away from Remus. He desperately wanted to go see him.   
Sirius reached to see a pool of blood, inhabited. There was no one person alive in sight. Not a single soul.  
He felt his stomach sink.   
Sirius couldn’t stop running. He was heading aimlessly. The floor was invisible under the red cover of blood. There wasn’t a single human in sight. His feet were bleeding, his shoes were torn. But he couldn’t stop running. Not until he found him. He ran harder. He couldn’t feel his feet anymore. There was a stinging pain in his side from God knows what- but he ran.  
“Rem!” he yelled as loud as he could. No response. The pit in his stomach grew deeper and deeper. He was scared. There was nothing in front of him. His vision was blurring. Suddenly, he saw a silhouette of a man. Lying on the floor. Sirius sprinted. He didn’t even bother to look down. He didn’t stop, didn’t blink until his arms were securely wrapped around Remus’s neck, nose buried into his shoulder.  
“Rem” his hand closed around the fabric of the back of his shirt, “Remus.”  
Relief washed over Sirius. Remus was with him. Everything would be fine now. Everything would go back to normal. Sirius stared into Remus’s eyes. They spoke a different language which Sirius understood. He stared at them knowing that he would stare at them tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. He would stare at them all he liked. Remus was grinning. “We lost the war but I think I just won” he said. Sirius smiled back at him. Then suddenly Remus’s eyes went wide, his breath went heavy. Sirius started to panic. He put his arms behind Remus’s back and that’s when he felt it. The knife - deep into Remus’s skin. Sirius wished this was a dream and he would wake up anytime now. He refused for any of this to be true. Sirius’s head whipped around, searching for some kind of help. But there wasn’t a single soul in sight. Hopelessness filled up in his chest. Remus couldn’t die, he wasn’t meant to die. Remus’s pale and cold hand touched Sirius’s cheek and Sirius looked down. Remus lay there, smeared in blood and slightly smiling and that’s when life escaped his body. His hand became heavy and fell to the floor. Sirius sat there and closed his eyes, still holding Remus’s palm and bowed his head against the new waves of unending pain that were about to hit him.   
“How could you die? Why aren’t you telling me that it’s going to be fine? Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to die?” he yelled at Remus.   
He didn’t want to leave but he had to. The army was marching close and they would kill him if he didn’t leave. He had promised Remus that he would be safe. He glanced at Remus one last time and that’s when he noticed the letter in his hand. He pulled it out of Remus’s hand and ran.  
The sun kissed the sea and the sinister, merciless waves crashed the shore. The brown sand had patches of blood as a man almost covered in red sat there, making holes in the uneven sand with his blood clotted feet. He was clutching onto a letter and just as the sun began to almost disappear he began reading.  
Dear Sirius,  
I might be dead by the time you get this. There really isn’t any guarantee of life when you’re in the military you see. Knowing you well enough, I think I know where you are right now. Don’t go too deep into the water, I don’t want sharks eating you up. Please control your adrenaline and your excitement, you generally tend to engage in ridiculous activities.   
Okay! Okay, the instructions are over. Don’t throw this letter just yet.  
If I’m not dead by the time this reaches you I’m probably going to be in hiding. So either way I’m Sorry. I’m worried about you, no one deserves to be alone. But like the selfish human being I am, I left you alone. I wasn’t perfect, in fact I was drowned in flaws but you accepted me just the way I was. I’ve had endless magical memories with you. You know I hate cliches so this is new, but it also proves that I am writing all this for you with a true heart.   
Firstly, you can have my house and all the books I own( Please start reading!). Yes, Sirius Black you can have all of it. The chocolates I own - you’re still not allowed to touch them. Move into my house. You’ll like it there.   
Secondly, you kept on asking me why I ever fell for you. Do you want to know why ? Because you liked wearing wet socks, because you always left the lights on , because your laugh is too ridiculous, but mainly because I loved you, you buffoon.   
If anything were to happen to you, it would hurt me. Take care of yourself. Don’t think too much about me.   
You know I’ll always be here for you right? Even when I’m gone, I’ll be just beside you. Your memory feels like home to me. So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds its way back to you.   
If there’s anything in life I wouldn’t want to change it is the chance of meeting you and falling in love with you.   
You make me so happy. 

PS: Go check the couch of my house. I kept extra Belgian chocolate for you there, your favorite kind.   
Love,  
Yours Always and Forever,  
Remus Lupin.


End file.
